Parents, and My teddy.

Okay to start things off, I just put a load of laundry in the washing machine. I still have a whole basket full of dirty clothes, especially since I’ve been too depressed to clean my room, or do any laundry.

I just went out into the living room, walked to my mom, and told her that I had seen someone post a page called “Is it suicide if you’re already dead inside?” Well she immediately told me “Yes it is suicide, because you’re alive on the outside.” I immediately snapped and said, “well yeah I know that.” She got a bit frustrated about it and told me she was just trying to help. Well she doesn’t understand that, that does not help. It kind of irritates me. You know how someone goes and just says something like that? It’s not helpful. I went on to explain the situation and she told me, “Well don’t get too involved in it” The reason she said that? Because she told me that she didn’t need me going and getting depressed. Okay for one, have you not noticed that I already am depressed? That I’ve already fallen back into that little hole that’s deep enough to keep you down there? I’m trying, and you don’t have to go and tell me “Don’t go getting depressed.” It’s annoying when you do that, why do you think I take meds? Because I need them.

As I am currently trying to post this post, my dad comes and bangs on my door, “What are you doing?” Dude my door is closed and now you just startled me, freaked me out and I told him I was reading about waffles, which in all honesty isn’t a lie- WAFFLES. So anyways where was I?

Oh right, so my mom when she was younger had been depressed as well, she was anorexic. and she gets frustrated with me whenever I say that I feel fat or whenever I get a little bit sad, okay it’s not you. And yeah I understand you don’t want me going down that path but really mom. You’re going about it the wrong way. It just makes me angry when you say stuff like that. Okay so my mom also has Anxiety, and you know it doesn’t help when I feel like I have to be the strong one and pretend to be happy because as soon as I’m not happy she gets depressed and when something small goes wrong, like say she saw this post she would freak. she’d probably get depressed and angry and tell me stuff like “Do you really think I hate you? Do you really think I don’t love you?” And I don’t think any of that. But she goes and puts those things in her head. I LOVE HER! Damn it, I LOVE YOU MOM.

Anyways, I just want her to understand that I’m not like her, and I know she’s just trying to help and all, but I don’t understand why she tries to help that way, because it doesn’t help. it worsens it.

Does anybody have any advice on this? How would I confront her? I’m confused, every time I try to confront her on something like this she gets offended.

Thanks.

 

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2 thoughts on “Parents, and My teddy.

  1. Sorry it was my post that caused this 😓 I honestly have the same situation with my parents. I keep getting asked when I’m going to start coming off my antidepressants – seriously I would consider it if I thought I didn’t need them anymore. It’s hard though because thinking about it if my child was in the same position I might act the same way. I get frustrated when my little sister says she’s fat. It’s just a protective instinct I suppose but getting snappy doesn’t help.

    Liked by 1 person

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